These Things I Know
by Ankh-Ascendant
Summary: Kagome has returned and taken Inuyasha away from Sesshoumaru... Sesshou POV


_TITLE: These Things I Know  
CHAPTER: oneshot  
AUTHOR: Ankh Ascendant ( setosgirl0 / neferseti0 )  
DATE: 9-7-09  
FANDOM: Inuyasha  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, or make any money from it.  
PAIRINGS: Inuyasha/Sesshoumaru  
TYPE: Romance  
RATING: PG  
WARNINGS: no warnings  
OCs: none  
BETA: none  
WORDS: 977  
SUMMARY: Kagome has returned and taken Inuyasha away from Sesshoumaru... Sesshou POV  
NOTES: This was written from a list of writing prompts, found at .com. This prompt was "envy". _

* * *

_These Things I Know_

"_Onii-san!" _

Her voice is stuck in my mind... It's a splinter stuck in my paw that I can't dig out, burrowing deeper every time I try.

It's not enough that she finally returned to finish taking him, she has to rub my face in it...

What is she doing here? This is not her time, or her place. She doesn't belong here.

Go away, bitch, and leave him to me, where he belongs...

"_Brother-in-law!"_

No! That is my Inuyasha, not yours. She is nothing but a common thief of a woman, flouncing in and taking what doesn't belong to her...

I know he belongs to her. I know he only passed time with me while he waited for her. I knew she would return, as he did, and I knew this would end... and turn out like this.

But I do not let go so easily. He knew this.

But I cannot blame him... only her.

"Inuyasha."

He looks up, unerringly toward me, leaning on the bare spot in the tree bark. Our meeting place is deserted as ever, save for me and him. The foolish humans still think this forest is haunted. His bitch-woman? I don't know, but not with him here... mercifully. I do not know what I would do if she had followed him to our place.

"Sesshoumaru..." He looks miserable. I should not be surprised. Poor Inuyasha with his human heart, struggling in the ropes he's bound himself with. I don't have any pity for him. This is the bed you have made Inuyasha.

I step close, close enough to be surrounded by the smell of him, but don't reach out, leaving that to him. He does, of course, touching my fur and the letting his hand drop.

"She's back." His hand settles restlessly at his side and his eyes roam around, looking everywhere but at mine. "Kagome, I mean. But you know that..."

"Yes, I saw." My claws touch his chin and force him to meet my eyes. He _will_ deal with this.

I can see him struggling to maintain the eye contact, but he doesn't look away. Yet. He will, I know. After three years, I know him well. Better than she, I'm sure.

"I guess I came to say good-bye."

"No, you didn't." You came because you want me, and will always ant me, but know it's easier to break my heart than hers... because I don't have one, right? You fool.

"You always knew, when she came back..." He shrugs, trying to make it not his problem. Oh no, this is not my fault, this is yours, do not pass it off. "We're getting married."

"I hate her."

That finally gets his full attention, and his eyes don't make any effort to leave mine. Was that so hard? "You're not going to..."

"No, I'm not going to injure her." I am fully capable of hating from a distance. He would destroy me if I touched her, anyway. I don't have much choice.

It's more satisfying to punish her and him by letting them be together.

"Good." He relaxes. "You _knew_ it wouldn't last."

He keeps saying that, as if it will assuage his guilt. It won't. He knew as well, and this is his fault. I won't take the blame.

I blame her, though she didn't know. This is her fault, but not entirely.

This is entirely his fault, but I only wish I could blame him.

I will not be blamed, however.

"So did you, Inuyasha."

He slumps a little. "I know. We both knew, okay?"

I have nothing to say to him. This is his fault, and I will not relieve him of his guilt. I won't release him. He was good enough at taking what he wanted three years ago... He will make up his mind on his own, and live with the consequences, and not look back. And he will do it himself.

"I'm sorry."

That's something I actually believe from him. He is sorry... but not in the way that would make him do anything about it.

He resents me for not telling him it's all right for him to leave. He would have my blessings for his 'happiness', and then blithely wander to his woman, guilt-free, and sleep easily at night. He wants me to set him free.

If he thinks I would do that, he is mistaking me for a person much nicer than I am.

I don't think he deserves that.

If he wants to resent someone, it should be her, she who wanders into his life and expects him to come back, knowing he will, a good little puppy scampering to her call.

Or he should resent himself, for giving in to her, because he can't help it. If he were stronger, he wouldn't have to, but he has no one to blame save himself.

"Sesshoumaru..."

"I'm not going to stop you."

"I said I'm sorry..."

"I heard you." And it's not my responsibility to forgive you. Be a man and forgive yourself, if you think you deserve it, or go crawling to _her_ to do it for you if you don't, or can't.

Not that I imagine for a second she is ever going to know about this... any more than anyone else does.

He looks away, dejected again. No, still not strong enough to stand on his own... admit what he wants even to himself. I'll have to remain a dirty little secret and a fond memory.

There is no place for me here. I turn and start to walk away.

"Sesshoumaru, wait!"

I don't look toward him; I don't have to. Come and find me when you are ready, Inuyasha.

"I will."

_~end~_


End file.
